Divorcing a Narcissist – What Can You Do?

Being married to someone with narcissistic personality disorder is hard. 

Divorcing a person with narcissistic personality disorder is evenharder.

Let’s have a look at how someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is likely to behave during the divorce process and how a solicitor experienced in dealing with NPD can help.

The Face of NPD

Dealing with a narcissist during a divorce can be particularly challenging due to their self-centered behavior and manipulative tendencies. Here are some common ways a narcissist might behave during the divorce process:

Denying Responsibility – Narcissists often refuse to acknowledge any faults or shortcomings in the relationship, so they might blame you for everything going wrong.

Manipulating Emotions – They may use guilt, shame, or fear to manipulate you, trying to make you feel bad or question your decisions.

Playing the Victim – They might portray themselves as the victim in the situation, trying to garner sympathy from others, including friends, family, or even the court.

Making Unreasonable Demands – Expect demands that are unrealistic or unfair, such as excessive financial supportor child arrangements that serve their interests rather than the children’s.

Controlling Communication – They may attempt to control how and when you communicate, possibly using indirect methods like having their solicitor handle all communication or avoiding direct conversations.

Hoarding Resources – Narcissists may try to hide or withhold financial resources to gain leverage or to punish you, making the process more difficult and drawn out.

Creating Drama – They may try to escalate conflicts or create drama to destabilise you emotionally and financially.

Involving Others – They might involve friends, family, or even your mutual acquaintances to influence opinions or create additional pressure on you.

Legal Gamesmanship – Expect them to use legal manoeuvers to delay the process or increase your legal costs. They might also engage in tactics to confuse or intimidate you.

Undermining Parental Roles – If there are children involved, they might undermine your role as a parent, either by attempting to manipulate the children’s feelings or by disparaging you in front of them.

Publicising the Divorce – They may air your private issues publicly to garner sympathy or damage your reputation.

Refusing to Settle – They may drag out negotiations and refuse to settle in an attempt to wear you down or maintain control.

What You Can Do

A family law solicitor (especially one experienced in dealing with NPD) can be instrumental when divorcing a narcissist, offering both legal expertise and guidance tailored to the unique challenges. Here’s how a solicitor can assist:

Developing a Strategy – Your solicitor can help create a comprehensive legal strategy that addresses your specific situation, including the narcissist’s behavior patterns. They can advise on the best approach for negotiation, litigation, and protecting your interests.

Documenting Evidence – They can assist in gathering and organising evidence of the narcissist’s behavior, including financial records, communication logs, and any incidents that might affect child arrangements or division of assets.

Managing Communication – A solicitor can handle communication with your spouse or their solicitor, minimising direct contact with the narcissist and reducing the potential for manipulation or emotional distress.

Navigating Manipulation Tactics – As narcissists often use manipulation and delay tactics, a solicitor can help identify and counteract these strategies, ensuring that the legal process remains on track.

Ensuring Fair Financial Settlements – They can work with financial experts to ensure a fair distribution of assets and liabilities if the narcissist attempts to hide assets or manipulate financial information.

Protecting Child Arrangement Rights – If children are involved, a solicitor will help establish and enforce childarrangements that prioritise the children’s well-being, protecting them from potential manipulation or harmful behavior.

Preparing for Court – In cases where litigation is necessary, your solicitor will prepare for court byorganising evidence, crafting persuasive arguments, and representing you effectively in legal proceedings.

Providing Emotional Support – While not a substitute for therapy, a solicitor can offer support by understanding the complexities of dealing with a narcissist and helping you stay focused on legal objectives.

Handling Mediation – If mediation is part of the process, your solicitor can ensure that the mediation sessions are fair and that the narcissist does not use the opportunity to manipulate or control the outcome.

Safety Advice – If there are concerns about personal safety or harassment, your solicitor can help you obtain protection orders or take other legal measures to ensure your safety and that of your children.

A family law solicitor with experience in dealing with NPD can make a significant difference in navigating the complexities of a divorce, providing both legal protection and strategic advice to help you achieve a fair and favorable outcome. One of our team and family law specialists would be happy to chat to you today.