When it comes to long term relationships very few people feel it is necessary to get married. Or at times they are aiming for it but never quite get there with all the busyness of life.

It is quite common for couples to live together for many years before getting married or continue to live together without ever getting married or having the relationship legally recognised through civil partnership.

However, no matter how long the relationship has lasted or if children are involved, the rights of unmarried cohabiting couples have been limited.

The Law Commission published a report in 2007 recommending that the laws affecting cohabiting couples be changed, specifically in terms of being able to claim for financial support after separation or death. However, in 2011 the Government declared that this would not be taken forward.

It is unfortunate as it often children who get an especially raw deal.

The Good News

The good news is that change is afoot.

The Department of Work and Pensions have acknowledged this support is life-saving for these families and have announced that bereavement support will be extended to cohabiting couples with children.

The Government has proposed that Widowed Parent’s Allowance and Bereavement Support payments will be available to the surviving cohabiting partners provided they were living together until the date of death and have dependent children.

This change is scheduled to come into effect next spring and will be applicable from 30 August 2018 so thousands of families will be able to receive backdated payments in lump sums. This is the date the Supreme Court ordered the Government to treat unmarried and married couples equally.

However, some charities (CPAG, WAY and Childhood Bereavement Network) are imploring the Government that backdated bereavement support payments should begin from 6 April 2017, which is the date these payments were introduced. This would allow thousands more families to benefit.

What to do

If you are currently in a cohabiting relationship, it is a relief that this policy is now being brought into effect for future. While it is comforting to know this support will now be available, it is always a good idea to have put some plans in place before something happens. We recommend that Wills be made out and necessary arrangements are discussed and written down.

Having everyone involved on the same page is the best way to reduce the stressfulness of what will inevitably be a trying situation.

And if you are already in this challenging situation of having suffered the loss of your partner recently or in the last 3 – 4 years, it’s best not to wait for the policy change to officially come into effect.

Put your claim in now to ensure it is on file by contacting the Bereavement Service Helpline on 0800 791 0469.

And if you need any help, we’re only a call away.

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In an already stressful situation, it’s unfortunate that it’s so often the innocent children that pay the price in many ways.

Parents are required by law to provide for their children no matter what the living arrangement may be. For separated families, child maintenance is essential in helping parents support themselves and their children and Child Maintenance Services (CMS) are a vital cog in the wheel of the survival of single parent families. It is a new service run by the government which has replaced the Child Support Agency (CSA).

The CMS offers a ‘Direct Pay’ service where they assist with calculating the child maintenance amount. No fees are charged and parents liaise between themselves about payment arrangements.

But it is rare for separated parents to be able to come to an agreement on their own.

That’s where their ‘Collect and Pay’ service comes in. This serves as a mediator of sorts between the parents, to ensure that money is collected from the non-resident parent and paid over to the resident parent.

However, it seems that this system is not working very well.

According to Gingerbread, a leading charity organisation that assists single parent families, the CMS is charging for services they seem unable to deliver on. Not only is this fee deducted from the money the child should be receiving, but they are not receiving the money at all.

The money is also not being collected from the paying parent. Since the formation of the CMS in 2012, there has been over £408 million in unpaid child maintenance owed through ‘Collect and Pay’.

Gingerbread agrees to the fee being charged to non-resident parents who are not willing to pay the maintenance. However, they do not agree that resident parents should pay either the £20 application fee or the 4% levy on money received.

Gingerbread is therefore campaigning for the fees charged to resident parents by the “Collect and Pay” service to be dropped. One of the reasons is that this fee forces parents on the receiving end to extract the money rightly owed from the paying parent by whatever means possible. This, understandably, results in the cycle of abuse in relationships being exacerbated.

Research has shown that if these single parent families currently living below the bread line that are owed child maintenance were paid what was due, 60% would be elevated out of poverty.

What a difference that would make.

If you find yourself in this situation it can be a disheartening place to be. However, thanks to the law, hope is on the horizon.

As of June this year, the Department for Work and Pensions were consulting on secondary legislation with regards to payment issues under CMS.

At the same time investigations of the CMS were being conducted by the National Audit and DWP Minister, Baroness Stedman Scott, announced an independent inquiry into how the CMS assists survivors of domestic abuse.

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In the beginning of the pandemic the divorce rate seemed to be on the increase. Amongst other things, the main reason could be that these marriages were already troubled before lockdown hit and they were just more able to tolerate each other when they had access to other outlets.

There is no doubt that the pandemic has put a huge strain on many people in multiple aspects of life. Financial pressure, disruption of routines and limited socialising outside the home have affected us all, whether single or married.

However, as a couple it can be even more difficult to navigate these challenges. And sometimes it may seem like divorce will solve all the issues.

This may be true for some relationships that can be physically or mentally dangerous to either one of the partners. In these cases separation is a necessity and may be a life saver.

In fact, some countries have seen an increase in those seeking refuge at shelters for the homeless and abused – a sad reality of the consequences of being in a troubled relationship.

Working it out

Although there may have been a sudden increase in divorces early on in lockdown, the numbers seem to be decreasing the longer the situation has carried on.

Why could that be?

According to one survey, many couples have found that enduring through the initial difficulties the pandemic presented has paid off and resulted in their relationship becoming stronger. In these cases, having more time to do things together has had a positive, unifying effect.

Effective communication and willingness to compromise are key to a strong partnership, especially in trying circumstances, and this situation has given many an opportunity to work on these things.

As Charles Darwin said: “It’s not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

To be willing to work it out and pausing before deciding whether or not to stay together – making the best of a situation that is by no means ideal – might turn out better in the end than you think.

But if this is not an option for you, what should you bear in mind during the divorce procedure?

Keeping it tidy

With the “self-service” approach that online divorce portals offer now, it can be tempting to go ahead with the divorce procedure on your own. While it does simplify things somewhat there is good reason to have a solicitor on your side when it comes to financial settlements involving assets, business interests or pensions and child maintenance payment.

Not formalising these things can lead to more trouble in the future as there is no time limit on financial claims – a claim for financial provision can still be pursued even after many years have passed since the divorce has gone through.

The Wyatt & Vince case in 2015 is a good reminder of the importance of getting a ‘clean break order’ as this will prevent further headaches and costs in the future.

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